Love Is Pain
by pavlovringsabell
Summary: Jack Hotchner is a socially awkward teenager with a traumatic past and way too many secrets for his own good. His dad Aaron is moving fast in his newest relationship. Reconnecting with some people from the past causes both of them to question what the future could look like.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I'm on season 3 right now. I know a little of what happens in the show later though, so this is supposed to be about five years after Hotch has left the BAU. I don't own the characters except for the original one I included. Jack is 16ish. I know they'd really be given new names in Witness Protection, but since most of their conversations are just with each other in private or with people they really trust, I'm going to go ahead and use the names we know them as.

Jack Gideon Hotchner had always been a quiet kid. At sixteen years of age, he stood right at 6 feet tall, and he had light brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Jack was the star of the school's swim team, has led them to a state championship his sophomore year. He also had an amazing singing voice, although that was rarely heard by anyone other than his dad, Aaron.

"Jack, can you come downstairs?" Aaron asked his teenage son.

"Yeah, sure dad" Jack replied, throwing on a t-shirt and rushing down the stairs.

"Sit down son, this is going to be a hard conversation for both of us" Aaron advised him.

"Okay, what is it?" Jack asked, taking a seat on the brown leather recliner.

"I'm seeing somebody" Aaron confessed.

"Is it serious?" Jack questioned his father.

"That's what I needed to talk to you about" Aaron replied hesitantly.

"Can't you just tell me?" Jack asked.

"She and I were thinking of moving in together," Aaron told Jack.

"Here?" Jack asked.

"Yes, would you be okay with that?" his dad asked.

"Yeah sure, that'll be alright" Jack reluctantly agreed and went back to his bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 4

AN: Now we are back to present time (for this fic that is), once again I don't own any character I didn't create. I also want to make clear that just because I write somebody doing something doesn't mean I approve in real life. In case you guys are wondering, Hotch doesn't have any idea about his son being molested. Same CW as the last chapter.

Jack Hotchner woke up early on that Saturday. He usually preferred to sleep in when he could, but today he couldn't stand to stay in his bed any longer.

"Hey Jack, did you sleep okay?" his dad asked, as he ran down to the kitchen.

"Not really" Jack admitted.

"Are you sure you don't want to sleep in?" Lila asked.

"I'm fine Lila" Jack assured her.

"I was just checking" she responded.

"I have the day off, do either of you want to do something together?" Aaron asked, looking up from his newspaper.

"We should go hiking together, it'd be a great family activity" Lila suggested enthusiastically.

"WE'RE NOT A FAMILY!" Jack shouted angrily, slamming his plate against the table.

"Jack, go cool off, I'll be up later to talk with you" his dad instructed firmly.

"Alright," Jack agreed reluctantly.

"Is he okay?" Lila asked Aaron.

"He probably just needs to get some sleep, he'll need it when we tell him the big news," Aaron told her.

"I just hope he doesn't react the same way when he finds out" Lila responded.

"He'll calm down, it's just hard for him to adjust to all of this" Aaron reassured her.

Later that morning Aaron knocked on Jack's bedroom door, waiting for it to open.

"What do you want?" Jack asked with his own flavor of teenage attitude.

"I just need to talk to you" his dad replied.

"Yeah sure, what about?" he asked.

"How do you feel about Lila?" his dad asked, sitting on his bed.

"She seems alright, but I sometimes think something a little off about her" Jack admitted.

"Could it be because she's a new person in your life?" Aaron suggested.

"I guess so, but I can't shake the feeling that it's more than that" Jack confided in him.

"You're probably just overthinking this, I know she really thinks of you like her own son," his dad told him.

Suddenly Jack's mind flashed back to the incident in Mrs. Havens office, and all the times it had happened after that. He had to fight to hold back tears or a scream because he couldn't have his dad finding out about what had happened.

"Hey, are you alright?" his dad asked, breaking him away from his mind.

"Yeah, I'm just tired" Jack lied, wishing he had the courage, to tell the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter two

Just a week after that conversation, a short skinny young woman with bright red hair and green eyes was putting her toiletries in the master bathroom. Jack wasn't thrilled about the situation, but he wanted his dad to be happy.

"You must be Jake" the woman said, reaching her hand out to shake his when he walked past the bathroom.

"Jack, and you must be Lila" he corrected, shaking her hand.

"Yes, I am, I just want you to know that you can always ask me anything" she told him, as he left.

"Hey Jack, how are you doing?" Aaron asked his son when he walked into the kitchen.

"I'm fine dad, just hungry" Jack lied, grabbed a box of crackers.

"Well if you say so, just don't be afraid to tell me if somethings going on" he reminded him.

"Sure dad, do you want some crackers?" Jack offered.

"Yeah, leave some for Lila too" he replied.

"Okay" Jack agreed, placing a sleeve of crackers on the granite countertop.

"Do you have anything going on this weekend?" Aaron asked.

"Not really, I was maybe planning to hang out with some kids from school" Jack responded.

"Where would you guys be?" his dad inquired.

"Probably near the mall and movie theater" Jack replied.

"Okay, please be careful. Also, please be safe with any girls" his dad advised him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

AN: Now we are back to present time (for this fic that is), once again I don't own any character I didn't create. I also want to make clear that just because I write somebody doing something doesn't mean I approve in real life. In case you guys are wondering, Hotch doesn't have any idea about his son being molested. Same CW as the last chapter.

Jack Hotchner woke up early on that Saturday. He usually preferred to sleep in when he could, but today he couldn't stand to stay in his bed any longer.

"Hey Jack, did you sleep okay?" his dad asked, as he ran down to the kitchen.

"Not really" Jack admitted.

"Are you sure you don't want to sleep in?" Lila asked.

"I'm fine Lila" Jack assured her.

"I was just checking" she responded.

"I have the day off, do either of you want to do something together?" Aaron asked, looking up from his newspaper.

"We should go hiking together, it'd be a great family activity" Lila suggested enthusiastically.

"WE'RE NOT A FAMILY!" Jack shouted angrily, slamming his plate against the table.

"Jack, go cool off, I'll be up later to talk with you" his dad instructed firmly.

"Alright," Jack agreed reluctantly.

"Is he okay?" Lila asked Aaron.

"He probably just needs to get some sleep, he'll need it when we tell him the big news," Aaron told her.

"I just hope he doesn't react the same way when he finds out" Lila responded.

"He'll calm down, it's just hard for him to adjust to all of this" Aaron reassured her.

Later that morning Aaron knocked on Jack's bedroom door, waiting for it to open.

"What do you want?" Jack asked with his own flavor of teenage attitude.

"I just need to talk to you" his dad replied.

"Yeah sure, what about?" he asked.

"How do you feel about Lila?" his dad asked, sitting on his bed.

"She seems alright, but I sometimes think something a little off about her" Jack admitted.

"Could it be because she's a new person in your life?" Aaron suggested.

"I guess so, but I can't shake the feeling that it's more than that" Jack confided in him.

"You're probably just overthinking this, I know she really thinks of you like her own son," his dad told him.

Suddenly Jack's mind flashed back to the incident in Mrs. Havens office, and all the times it had happened after that. He had to fight to hold back tears or a scream because he couldn't have his dad finding out about what had happened.

"Hey, are you alright?" his dad asked, breaking him away from his mind.

"Yeah, I'm just tired" Jack lied, wishing he had the courage, to tell the truth.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

AN: Hotch and Lila are moving fast, I know. Some other CC characters might be showing up within the next few chapters. The molestations are just the first of Jack's many secrets.

Today was an uneventful Sunday at the Hotchner house. Aaron had just gotten out of the shower, and Jack was lying on the couch. Lila was out for a morning run, and had promised to bring back donuts and coffee for the men of the house.

"Hey dad, do you mind if I turn on the TV?" Jack asked when he heard his dad come into the living room.

"Go ahead, whatever channel you want" his dad told him, taking a seat next to him.

The TV turned on to the Local News, which Jack usually would have changed to something else.

'Another body has been found on Pine Oak Trail, thought to be linked with the currently unsolved Pine Oak murders. The body remains unidentified now, but is thought to belong to a fourteen-year-old male" the newscaster reported.

"This is what I hate about the world" Aaron said to Jack.

"Yeah, me too" Jack told him.

"When Lila gets back we have something to tell you" Aaron told him.

"Okay, how old is she anyway?" Jack asked.

"She's thirty, she had her birthday around the time that we first met" his dad explained.

"Isn't that a bit young for you?' Jack inquired.

"Love is love, I can't help the fact that I love Lila" his dad told him.

When Lila came home she placed the coffees and donuts on the counter and ran off into the bathroom to wash up from her run. She eventually came back out and joined Aaron and Jack on the couch.

"What are you guys planning to tell me?" Jack asked.

"We want to tell you that we are officially engaged?" Jack's dad told him, putting an arm around his shoulder.

"Oh cool" Jack replied, his mind wandering back to Mrs. Havens office.

"You handled that better than we expected" Lila commented.

"Yeah, I guess if you guys are happy, that's all that should really matter" Jack replied.

"Feel free to go grab a coffee and some donuts now" Lila instructed Jack and Aaron.

The two men went into the kitchen, with the Pine Oak murders racing through their minds.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

AN: Do you guys think this engagement is a clever idea? Also, how will Jack tell Hotch about everything he's keeping from him. What is going on with these Pine Oak murders? Keep staying tuned in to find this out.

It had been two weeks since he had learned of his dad's engagement and Jack Hotchner still hadn't fully come to terms with the idea of Lila as a stepmother. Luckily, they didn't have a wedding date set, so he could continue pretending it wasn't really happening

"Hey Jack, what's going on with you?" his dad asked when he sat down next to him on the couch.

"Not much dad, I was thinking about going hiking on Pine Oak Trail" Jack commented.

"I don't think that's a safe idea with that killer on the loose" his dad warned him.

"I'll make sure to stay out of his way" Jack joked.

"You say that now, but speaking from experience, it might not be possible" his dad advised him.

"How many people has he killed?" Jack asked.

"Based on what I've heard on the news, it seems like about twenty-five," Aaron told his teenaged son.

"Do you ever miss working in the BAU?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, but protecting you was more important, and besides I like my current job" Hotch admitted.

"That makes sense" Jack agreed, "has anyone figured out a link between the Pine Oak victims?" Jack asked.

"I don't really keep up with that sort of thing like I used to, but I've heard rumors that he targets LGBT teenagers" Hotch replied.

"Oh, that sucks for them" Jack replied, not quite sure how to tell his dad that he might be gay.

"Hey boys, I'm going out for a run!" Lila called from the front door.

"Bye sweetie, be careful" Hotch replied.

"Do you still miss mom?" Jack asked.

"Yes of course, but that doesn't mean I can't move on with Lila" his dad explained.

"I guess so, it's not like you guys were together when she died anyway," Jack remarked.

"You'll get used to Lila" Hotch promised his son.

"I'll try" Jack replied.

Later that evening Lila returned from her run, drenched in sweat and covered in dirt.

"Hey honey, how was your run?" Aaron asked his fiancé.

"It was great, but I'm worn out so I'm going to take a quick shower" Lila announced.

"Okay, come join us when you're done" he replied.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

AN: I don't have any idea how long I want to make this, but it'll probably be many chapters. I also realized that I haven't said what Hotch's post BAU job is. We'll find that out and Lila's job this chapter or next. Also, do you think Jack is gay or just confused because of what Mrs. Havens did to him? I also realized based on his birthday he should probably be a sophomore in this fic but since I already made him a junior I'll keep it like that

It was almost time to ring in the new year at the Hotchner house. Aaron, Jack, and Lila were there, joined by some of Lila's co-workers from the LGBT Community Center.

"Jack, can you help me hang up the banner?" Lila called in from the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure Lila" Jack responded, coming in to help her.

"Why don't you go introduce yourself to some of my co-workers?" Lila suggested to Jack when they had finished hanging the banner.

"Yeah sure" Jack agreed, shoving a handful of pretzels into his mouth.

"Hey everybody, I'm Jack" he introduced himself.

"Hi Jack, I'm Harvey and this is my husband, Gus" a short Asian-American man replied, reaching his hand out for Jack.

"Cool, how long have you guys been together?" Jack asked.

"We started dating fourteen years ago, but we've only been married for two years," Gus told him.

"That's good to hear, what exactly do you guys do at the LGBT community center?" Jack inquired.

"Harvey oversees updating the website, and I'm in charge of sorting through different suggestions for organizations and events and deciding which ones we want to focus on" Gus explained.

"What does Lila do?" he asked.

"She primarily handles our finances, but lately she's filled in the role of giving referrals to clinics and LGBT friendly shelters," Harvey told Jack.

"Did the person who did that before leave?" Jack asked.

"Well, sort of. Pat was supposed to be off for twelve weeks to recover from childbirth and be with his family, but he ended up leaving us completely" Gus explained.

"What do you mean he was recovering from childbirth? Can't only women give birth?" Jack questioned.

"He was transgender, that's how" Gus informed him.

"Oh okay," Jack replied.

"Hey son, I see you've met Gus and Harvey" Hotch commented when he walked into the living room.

"Yeah dad, do you know them?" Jack asked his dad.

"I met them at a dinner that Lila took me to" Hotch explained.

"Your son is a very nice young man" Gus informed him.

"Thank you" Hotch replied, "It's a shame about those kids being killed" he commented.

"I know, I just hope the police can catch the motherfucker who's doing it" Harvey replied.

"Hey dad, can I go ahead and grab some pizza?" Jack asked.

"Yeah sure, but only three slices" Hotch reminded him.

"Okay" Jack replied, walking over to grab some pepperoni pizza.

A few hours later the entire group gathered in the living room to watch the end of the count-down.

Ten, Jack looked at how happy Gus and Harvey were together and contemplated telling his dad that he might feel the same way.

Nine, Jack decided against coming out because he didn't want to worry his dad, and because he wasn't sure.

Eight, Jack looked over at his dad and noticed that he was too busy looking at Lila to notice the countdown.

Seven, Jack glanced over at Lila and noticed that she looked a bit sick, he figured some of the food had upset her stomach.

Six, Jack remembered the Cross-Country Team New Year's party that he attended during his freshman year, he wished he could tell his dad what happened to him at that night.

Five, Jack decided that he can never tell his dad because he wasn't supposed to let it happen in the first place.

Four, Jack thought about talking to his dad about what he had done in the month following that party.

Three, Jack realized that his dad probably wished he could return to the BAU, but he was now stuck working as a manager at a fancy restaurant instead.

Two, Jack thought about how he had too many secrets to keep himself together much longer.

One, Jack felt his dad's arms wrap around him and he decided to smile.

Zero, Jack joined everybody's cheers and hoped that this new year would turn out better than the last one.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

AN: I don't even know if any of this contradicts later seasons since I'm only on Season 3 of the actual show, so a lot of stuff that happens is based on what I've read from the Criminal Minds Wiki. As for the plot, I have my general outline of what this will be but I make up some of the specific details as I go along. Will we find out what Jack did after the party when he was a freshman? Also, I don't think Hotch would be against Jack if he knew he might be gay, Jack is just not sure whether to tell him.

The first month of the New Year was already half-way over, and the Oak-Pine killer was still on the loose. To make matters worse he now had eight more victims, all within the past two weeks. Hotch may not have worked a case in over five years, but he knew what this sudden acceleration meant. What he didn't know was that his own son was the killer's type.

"Hey dad, are you okay?" Jack asked, sitting next to his dad at the kitchen counter.

"I guess so, I'm just thinking about how this guy hasn't been caught yet," Hotch remarked.

"Me too, I wonder why he does it" Jack commented.

"I could give you so many answers to that question, but none of them would ever be enough" his dad replied.

"Do you ever worry that he might come after someone you know?" Jack asked.

"I don't really know anyone that is part of the group he targets, at least not closely" Hotch responded, oblivious to his own son's sexuality.

"I was just asking" Jack lied, "By the way do you know what's been going on with Lila lately?" he asked.

"She probably just has the flu. I've asked her to see her doctor about it, but she insists that she can run it off" Hotch replied.

"I hope her plan works" Jack replied. He may not have liked Lila at first, but as the big day approached he had found himself warming up to her.

"Me too" his dad agreed.

A few minutes later Lila walked in through the front door, filthy from her morning run.

"Hey honey, do you want to join us?" Hotch called in from the kitchen.

"Sure, just let me clean up first" Lila responded.

"Okay, we'll be waiting for you" Hotch promised.

"Hey, dad…" Jack suddenly hesitated,

"Jack, what is it?" Hotch asked.

"I really don't know how to tell you this, but…." He paused again, trying to figure out how to phrase his confession.

"You can tell me whatever it is" his dad assured him.

"I think I might be gay" Jack admitted.

"That's okay Jack, just be careful who you tell" his dad advised him.

"You're actually okay with it?" Jack questioned.

"Of course, I still love you" his dad reminded him.

"What are you boys talking about?" Lila asked when she joined them.

"I just came out to my dad" Jack admitted.

"Congratulations, maybe tomorrow you and I can go on a celebratory hike together and I can take you to visit the community center" Lila suggested.

"Thanks, but I have homework to catch up on," Jack told her.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

AN: This is another flashback chapter. This time is shortly after the cross-country team party during freshman year. Mrs. Havens was hosting the party, so you can probably guess what happened to Jack during it, but how did he react? CW: suicide attempt, pills, and self-harm. Also, CW for mentions of sexual abuse.

Jack Hotchner walked into his bedroom, carefully making sure the bottle of painkillers didn't rattle. He couldn't believe he was doing this, and he couldn't help feeling bad about it either. This wasn't his first experience with self-harming, he had been giving himself carefully hidden burns and cuts for some time. What this was, was his first suicide attempt. As he poured the pills out onto his bed, he thought about how his dad would react, but he knew he couldn't talk to him about what was going on.

A few days later, Jack woke up in what he soon realized was a hospital bed. He knew then that his attempt had failed, and that he'd have to continue keeping his terrible secret.

"What happened?" he could hear his dad ask a nurse.

"It seems that he suffered an accidental overdose, you're really lucky that you found him in time," the nurse told Hotch.

"Should I be concerned about a possible drug problem?" Hotch asked.

"You should be on the lookout for signs, but we think your son took too many of his pills by mistake" the nurse assured him.

"He got them after he got his wisdom teeth taken out, but he swore that he didn't need them," Hotch remarked.

A few hours later Jack decided he was finally ready for visitors, and so he asked his dad to come in.

"Hey buddy, how are you doing?" Hotch asked.

"I'm still a bit worn out, but I'll be okay" Jack replied, trying to convince himself.

"Can I ask why you had a change of heart about your medication?" his dad asked.

"I guess the pain wasn't getting any better without them, so I decided to go ahead and take one" Jack lied.

"Why did you take the whole bottle?" his dad inquired.

"I must've lost count of how many I'd taken" Jack lied.

"Just be careful next time, you really worried me," his dad said.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

AN: We are back to present story time again. When will the Oak-Pine killer get caught? If Hotch was still working in the FBI the sick bastard would've been put away or dead a long time ago. Also, when exactly is the wedding date? We also get to know what the new names Hotch and Jack were given are.

Aaron Hotchner was sitting at the kitchen table with his son, Jack. This time they weren't talking, just sitting across from each other. Aaron was reading over some job applications, trying to decide which applicants to call in for interviews. Jack was focused intensely on his US History essay, which was a week overdue. Lila was out for her morning run, but they expected her to be back within the hour. The two men continued working, only occasionally glancing at one another.

After about half an hour of work, Hotch decided to take a quick bathroom break in the master bathroom. While he was relieving himself, Jack caught a glimpse of somebody standing outside the front door. He figured it was just Lila returning from her run, so he decided to ignore it. That was until he suddenly heard several loud knocks.

"Can you get the door please, Jack?" his dad called in from the bathroom.

"Yeah sure dad, it's probably just some door-to-door Bible salesman" Jack joked, getting up to answer the door.

"Hello, who is this?" Jack asked when he opened the door.

"Is this the Warfield residence?" a slender white guy asked.

"Yes, I'm Max and my father Louis is in the bathroom right now" Jack replied nervously.

"I'm Doctor Spencer Reid, and this is Agent Derek Morgan. We're with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit" Spencer replied.

"What are you guys doing at our house?" Jack asked, confused and uncertain whether to reveal his identity.

"We're looking for Philippa Ann Jorgen" Morgan explained.

"I've never heard of her" Jack replied.

"We were told that she was living in this house" Morgan responded.

"I promise the name doesn't sound familiar. My dad's fiancé lives with us…. her name is Lila Parsons though" Jack admitted.

"Thank you, Max. May we come in?" Reid asked.

"Yeah sure, feel free to have a look around" Jack replied, inviting them into the home.

It was at that moment that Hotch walked back into the living room.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

AN: How do you think Hotch will react to seeing his former co-workers in his new home, especially since they had no idea where he relocated to? For that matter, how would they react?

"Mr. Warfield, Max said that we could come in and look around" Morgan explained, convinced he must be seeing things.

"What for?' Hotch asked, just as confused as everybody else.

"We have reason to believe that your fiancé might know something about the Pine-Oak killings" Reid interjected.

"Lila does run on that trail a lot, but I think I'd know if she knew something" Hotch replied.

"What does she do for a living?" Reid asked.

"She works at the local LGBT Community Center" Hotch explained.

"That means she probably knows a lot of the victims" Reid remarked.

"She's mentioned meeting with a few of them, but that could just be a coincidence considering that they are all from the LGBT community" Hotch reasoned.

"Well, we believe that the killer might have a relationship with the targets" Morgan explained.

"Do you mind telling us more details about her employment?" Reid inquired.

"She primarily manages the finances at the center, but sometime last year she started handling referrals to clinics and homeless shelters as well" Hotch explain.

"You're saying that she picked up extra work around the time the killings started?" Morgan inquired.

"Yes," Hotch replied.

"And you're also saying that she frequently visits the location where all of the bodies have been found?" Morgan questioned.

"Yes sir, I am" Hotch agreed.

"Do you know your fiancé's name?" Reid asked.

"Of course, I do, her name is Lila Isabel Parsons" Hotch answered.

"So, you are unaware her legal name is Phillipa Anne Jorgen?" Reid inquired.

"She's never said anything about having a different name" Hotch commented.

"I don't know how to tell you this sir, but it looks like she's our unsub" Morgan responded.

"You're what?" Hotch asked, pretending to be clueless.

"Unknown subject, it's the FBI term for the subject of an investigation" Reid explained.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

AN: Was that twist too obvious? Also do you think Lila is the killer, or just a false lead? CW: mentions of homelessness, abuse, rape and death

Jack was still in shock at what was happening right before his eyes. How could they have not made the connection between when Lila went out and when the killings took place?

"Dad, it's okay. They recognize you" Jack reassured his dad.

"I was trying not to say anything" Hotch told his son.

"We can honestly say that we did not expect to find you here" Morgan admitted.

"I can honestly say that I didn't expect you guys to be here" Hotch commented.

"We can't imagine how difficult this must be" Reid commented, "the odds of this occurrence are incredibly low."

"I would expect that to be the case, Reid" Hotch remarked.

"When is Lila coming home?" Morgan asked.

"She's usually home before noon on the weekend" Hotch admitted, beginning to fear what she might be doing.

"The rest of the team is flying in later, should we just wait?" Reid asked.

"Yeah sure, this is just a lot to take in" Hotch admitted.

"Hey guys, remember me?" Jack asked.

"Jack, right?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, that's right" Jack answered

"You've grown in the last few years, what do you do now?" Morgan asked.

"I'm a junior now, I'm on my school's swim team…I did used to do cross country too but I quit after freshman year" Jack told the agents.

"I never would've pegged you as a quitter" Morgan commented,

"I had my reasons" Jack explained.

"Which you've never explained to your own father" Hotch remarked.

"I told you that I needed to focus my energy on swimming" Jack responded in frustration.

"Hey buddy, call me if you need to talk" Morgan commented.

"Okay Agent Morgan" Jack agreed.

It wasn't until sometime that night that Lila finally came home.

"How could you?" Hotch asked when he noticed the door closing.

"How could I what darling?" Lila asked.

"You know what I'm talking about" he replied firmly.

"I really don't know" Lila said, walking into the living room.

"This is Agent Morgan and Doctor Reid, they'd like to talk with you" Hotch informed her.

"Hello, what do you need me for?" Lila asked.

"Miss Philippa Jorgen, where were you today?" Morgan asked.

"I was picking up extra hours at the LGBT community center where I work" she explained.

"Were there any particular projects you were working on today?" Morgan asked.

"I was referring some runaway teens to a shelter that could help them out" Lila told them.

"Do you remember any names?" Reid asked.

"Yeah but I can't guarantee that they used their legal names" she admitted.

"Any name could help us" Reid told her.

"There was a Troy Gunner, a Sofia Durbin and a Tina Marsden" she told them.

"How old were these three runaways?" Morgan inquired.

"They claimed to all be sixteen" Lila told them.

"I take it they had been rejected by their families" Reid suggested.

"Yes, Sofia said that her dad had tried to rape her to cure her of the 'sin' of lesbianism" Lila remarked.

"Therefore, she came to the center?" Morgan asked.

"Yes, along with her girlfriend Tina Marsden" Lila confirmed.

"What is Tina's story?" Morgan questioned.

"She was kicked out to the streets when her parents learned about her orientation, she was lucky that she found Sofia" Lila explained.

"What about Troy Gunner?" Reid asked.

"He claimed that he had been rejected by his parents when he came out as bisexual. He also told me that he had been abused by the female teacher whose house he had been living at" Lila explained.

"Did he say what type of abuse?" Morgan inquired.

"Sexual, he said that he hadn't told anyone else" she admitted.

"Are you saying that a child molester could be working in one of the local high schools?" Morgan asked.

"I suppose she could still be working" Lila commented.

"What's her name?" Morgan asked.

"Thea Havens" Lila admitted.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

AN: It looks like Jack's secret might get out soon. How will everybody react? Also, when will the rest of the BAU finally show up? Will that group of runaways be okay? CW: talk about molestation

Almost instantly, Jack Gideon Hotchner ran off to his bedroom and locked the door behind him. He was in tears and couldn't believe what had just happened. He still wasn't ready to tell his dad about what Mrs. Havens had done to him, but now he might not get a choice.

"He seems upset by that news; do you mind if I go talk to him?" Morgan asked Hotch.

"Go ahead, but please tell me that this isn't something personal for him" Hotch pleaded.

"I'll go up and try to talk with him" Morgan promised.

"Hey, can I come in?" Morgan asked, knocking on Jack's door.

"Yeah sure" Jack agreed reluctantly, getting up to unlock the door.

"You seemed upset when Lila mentioned Mrs. Havens" Morgan observed.

"I guess that sort of thing makes me uncomfortable" Jack lied.

"Listen, kid, I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but I have a feeling something happened to you" Morgan responded.

"When I was a freshman she touched me in various places. It started at the end of the finals week first semester. She only stopped because I left her cross-country team" Jack explained, fighting back tears.

"Something similar happened to me when I was around your age" Morgan admitted, letting the teen know that he wasn't the only one.

"How did you deal with it?" Jack asked.

"I'm still dealing with it, thankfully the guy is behind bars now," Morgan told him, "Has your dad taken you to talk with a professional about it?" he asked.

"My dad doesn't know, I never told him" Jack admitted.

"I'm sure he'd want to help you if he knew" Morgan reasoned with him.

"I can't tell him. He always taught me not to let something like that happen to me, but I let it happen anyway" Jack responded, breaking down once more.

"That doesn't make it your fault, and your dad would know that" Morgan promised.

"If it's not too much trouble, could you help me out with telling him?" Jack asked.

"Of course, it's not too much trouble" Morgan commented.

"Hey dad," Jack said as he went back into the living room.

"Is everything okay, Jack?" Hotch asked when he noticed his son.

"Aaron, Jack has asked me to help him out with something he needs to tell you" Morgan interjected.

"What is it?" Hotch asked.

"This is private, dad," Jack told him.

, "Okay," Hotch agreed, getting up to follow Jack and Morgan up to Jack's bedroom.

"Sit down, dad" Jack said.

"Okay, I'm sitting now" Hotch replied, sitting on Jack's bed.

"Dad, I really don't know how to tell you this…" Jack paused.

"It's okay, kid" Morgan reassured him.

"I'm still not sure that I'm ready to tell you about this…" Jack struggled to fight back tears.

"Do you need me to step in?" Morgan offered.

"Please" Jack cried.

"Jack was a victim of sexual abuse at the hands of Mrs. Thea Havens, the same teacher who also abused Troy Gunner" Morgan informed Hotch.

"How long has this been going on? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Hotch asked, nearly breaking down himself.

"It was only during my freshman year, I quit cross-country so that she wouldn't have access to me anymore. I never told you because I was afraid you'd be upset at me for letting her do it to me" Jack admitted.

"Jack, I want you to know that this isn't something you ever need to hide from me," Hotch reassured his son.

"You always told me how to make sure that thing never happened to me, but I still let it happen anyway" Jack reasoned.

"I may have said that, but I never meant for you to feel like you couldn't talk to me about these things" Hotch explained.

"Jack, you can always call me to talk about your feelings surrounding your abuse…anytime you need to" Morgan promised, handing him a card with his number on it.

"If you don't mind, I'd like you to start seeing a therapist about this" Hotch said.

"Okay dad" Jack agreed.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

AN: Now that Hotch knows about Jack's abuse, Mrs. Havens will probably be fired or face punishment for what she did. Even if he doesn't work investigations anymore, he'd still do pretty much anything for Jack. How much has life changed for the BAU since Hotch left?

"Is everything alright, boys?" Lila asked when Aaron and Jack came back down the stairs.

"I have two FBI agents in my home because of you, and you're asking if everything is alright?" Hotch questioned furiously.

"Hotch, the rest of the team just arrived at our hotel. I know we normally wouldn't get personally involved with someone in your position…but I'm sure they'd love to catch up" Morgan mentioned.

"Are you sure they'd be okay breaking protocol over me?" Hotch questioned.

"What's going on Aaron?" Lila begged.

"These are members of my old FBI team," Hotch told her.

"Just to be warned though, the others don't know that it's you and Jack" Morgan warned them.

"By the way, I'm getting another God-child" Reid commented, cracking a smile.

"Boy or girl?" Hotch asked.

"They haven't found out yet," Reid told him.

"I should have known J.J would have a third kid eventually" Hotch commented.

"This one is actually her fourth, her daughter Elizabeth just turned two" Reid informed him.

"I wish I could've known" Hotch replied, realizing just how much he had missed in only a few years.

"We'll catch you up with everyone else over dinner" Morgan promised.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be investigating?" Lila called in.

"Yes, Miss Jorgen, let's begin with descriptions of the three runaway teens you helped earlier today, what did they look like? What do you remember them wearing?" Reid questioned.

"Tina Marsden was tall, thin, she had really high cheekbones. Long blonde hair and light blue eyes. I think she was wearing a sweat-shirt and a pair of baggy jeans, I didn't get a look at her shoes" Lila told them.

"What about the others?" Morgan asked.

"Sofia Durbin had a pixie cut, dyed pink. I think she had hazel eyes, and she was a bit shorter and chubbier than Tina. She had a tongue piercing and some tattoos between her fingers…I couldn't get a good look at what they were. She was wearing a band t-shirt…I think My Chemical Romance…I don't remember for sure though, and a short red skirt and fishnet stockings…. both the girls were wearing the same bright red lipstick" Lila admitted.

"And finally, do you recall Troy Gunner's physical description?" Reid asked.

"He was tall, a bit muscular…. he had a tan like he had been to a beach recently. He had blond hair in a pony-tail, I didn't pay attention to his eyes but they were probably brown. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of swim shorts" she explained.

"Were you aware that Tina Marsden and Sofia Durbin were found dead just off Pine Oak trail this afternoon?" Morgan questioned.

"Lila, what did you do to those girls?" Hotch asked in disbelief.

"I didn't do anything to them" Lila swore.

"Miss, they were spotted on the trail with you" Morgan replied.

"That doesn't prove anything" Lila insisted.

"It doesn't, but it does seem odd that they died during the time they would've been with you," Morgan remarked.

"I promise, I didn't stab them" Lila claimed.

"According to Troy Gunner, you did" Reid interrupted.

"Why would you talk to him?" Lila asked.

"As part of our investigation, he's in the hospital as we speak" Morgan informed her.

"Will he be alright?" Lila asked.

"We're not sure yet, do you have any way to explain yourself?" Morgan questioned.

"Lila, we're finished" Hotch commented, furious at everything he was hearing.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

AN: To clear up confusion, Hotch and Jack only are known as Hotch and Jack to people who knew them before, and to each other. Most people know them as Louis and Max Warfield. Also from now on I'm calling Lila by her actual name, Philippa Jorgen.

It was now Valentine's Day and Aaron Hotchner was unexpectedly single again. The last few weeks had been a whirlwind of unexpected things, and it was all a lot for him to take in. His son Jack was the only thing that kept him from completely breaking down and shutting himself off from the rest of the world.

"Hey dad, Dave called!" Jack hollered through the door of the master bedroom.

"Bring the phone in for me" Aaron insisted.

"Yeah sure dad," Jack said, bringing the phone to his dad.

"Hey Dave, what's going on?" Hotch asked when he grabbed the phone.

"Phillipa tells me that she needs to speak to you, in person" Dave Rossi replied.

"Tell her that nothing she does or says can make me give her another chance" Hotch replied angrily.

"She knows you won't give her another chance, she just requested to meet with you," Rossi told Hotch.

"Did she say what she needed to talk about?" Hotch inquired.

"No, she just said it was urgent" Rossi informed him.

"I'll head over, but in the future, I'm done bothering with her" Hotch decided.

Later that day Hotch grabbed his car keys and headed out to the prison up north.

"Hello, I'm here to speak with Philippa Jorgen" he stated when he entered the building.

"What's your name?" he was asked by a lady behind a desk.

He thought for a second and then replied, "Louis Warfield"

"Yes, Mr. Warfield, Miss Jorgen has been anxious to speak with you since she got here" the lady informed him, as though it was no big deal that a serial killer wanted to see him.

"Let's get this over with" Hotch commented.

"Hey sweetie, how have you been?" Philippa asked.

"Jack and I have been just fine, without you" Hotch informed her.

"I have something really important to tell you, and I had to do it in person" she insisted.

"You planned to kill my son, there's nothing you can tell me that'll make me care what happens to you anymore," he told her.

"I never planned to kill Jack" she insisted.

"You offered to take him hiking with you, immediately after he came out as gay….and you are known for killing LGBT youth…. that seems like you planned it" Hotch replied, trying to stay calm.

"Don't you want to hear what I have to say?" she asked.

"I came up all this way, so I might as well listen" he decided.

"Aaron, I'm pregnant" Philippa admitted.

"Oh God no" he replied, shaking his head in disbelief

"I really am, I had them check when I got here," she told him.

"What're you planning to do?" he asked, still in shock at the revelation.

"You can have it, it's yours…not that you'd want it" she said.

"I'll consider, this is just a lot to take in" he admitted.

"They think it's a girl, but it was hard to tell on the scan" she informed him.

"When did it happen?" Hotch asked.

"I'm guessing around Thanksgiving," Philippa said.

"Are you even certain you plan to give birth?" Hotch asked.

"Yes, I just don't know what I'll do afterward. There's no way they'll let me raise a child. I understand if you want nothing to do with her…if she's just going to be a reminder of me, but I decided I needed to give you a chance to figure that out for yourself" she explained.

"Is there anybody else who might be able to take her?" Aaron asked.

"I'm not close with my family, Gus and Harvey might be able…but they'd probably rather you take her" Phillipa insisted.

"How long are you giving me to decide?" he asked, trying to keep himself together.

"Until she's born, I want an agreement reached by that time" Philippa decided.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

AN: Do you think Hotch will decide to raise the baby as his, or will he let Gus and Harvey have her? Do you think Philippa/Lila could be lying about the pregnancy in some way? Either that she isn't pregnant or that it's not his kid? This chapter is obviously after Hotch comes home from seeing her.

"Hey dad, what did Dave call about?" Jack asked.

"She's pregnant" Hotch informed him.

"I'm sorry about that, dad" Jack replied, patting his dad on the shoulder.

"It's fine, I'm just stressed out about it and I don't know what I plan to do" Hotch confessed.

"Is she definitely keeping it?" Jack asked.

"Yes, she told me I have until it…she is born to decide," he told his son.

"Does Dave know that that's why she called you?' Jack asked.

"I don't think so" Hotch admitted.

"He could help you out, I'm sure" Jack suggested.

"I'll give him a call later, but I want to talk to you right now," Hotch told Jack.

"About what?" Jack asked.

"Do you want to press charges against Mrs. Havens?" he asked.

"I'm not really sure, if I don't she'll keep hurting more kids… but if I do, that means going public" Jack commented.

"I won't make you come forward, but from my perspective, any embarrassment or shame that might come from speaking out would be worth it if there's even a chance she could be stopped," Hotch said.

"Dad, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner…I didn't know I wasn't her only victim, and you need to trust me when I say that if I had…I would've done something about it" Jack insisted.

"I trust you, and I understand why you didn't tell me sooner…even if I wish I'd have known" Hotch told Jack.

"I can't go public about this, I wish I could…but I can't" Jack cried.

"Have you talked to Agent Morgan about it yet?" Hotch asked.

"Not since the first time," Jack said.

"I think you should, I'm sure your therapist is great but you might benefit from talking to someone with personal experience" Hotch suggested.

"Hey dad, can I ask you something?" Jack asked nervously.

"Of course, you can ask" Hotch reassured.

"What would mom think of me right now?" Jack asked.

"She'd be proud of you for being able to get through everything that you've gone through," Hotch told Jack.

"Do you think she'd have anything to say about me being gay?" Jack asked.

"Only that she loves and accepts you no matter what and wants you to make sure your boyfriends are all gentlemen to you" Hotch assured his son.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

AN: I have more of an idea where this is going now. We're going to see more BAU members soon.

"Hey Dave, when you get this message call me. Jack and I would like to catch up with you. We'd be willing to make dinner at our house" Aaron said on voicemail to Dave Rossi.

"Hey dad, I need to leave right now…swim practice" Jack explained.

"I need the car today, are you walking or catching a ride?" Hotch asked.

"I'm catching a ride with Troy Gunner," Jack told his dad.

,"Okay, be safe" Hotch called in.

A few hours later, Dave called.

"Hey Hotch, I got your message," Dave said over the phone.

"Are you taking us up on the offer?" Hotch asked.

"Sure, I haven't seen Jack since you left," Dave told him.

"Would the 19th work for you?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, I can fly up…I'll have the teamwork our new cases without me" Dave agreed.

"Thank you so much" Hotch replied, hanging up the phone.

"Hey dad, I'm home," Jack said as he walked through the front door.

"Hey, Jack, who's the friend?" Hotch asked.

"This is Troy Gunner," Jack told his dad.

"Hi Troy, feel free to have anything you want from the fridge" Hotch commented.

"Thanks, Mr. Warfield" Troy replied.

"Actually, you can call me Mr. Hotchner" Hotch informed him.

"Okay dude" Troy replied.

"Dad, can Troy stay here tonight?" Jack asked.

"Yeah sure," Hotch decided.

"Thanks, Mr. Hotchner, I'll only be here for a few nights," Troy said.

"Let me know if you decide to stay longer, I know you've been looking for someplace to stay," Hotch said.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

AN: this is another flashback chapter. CW: self-harm, drug, and alcohol.

"Hey bro, you look like you could use something to drink," a tall, olive-skinned guy said to Jack Hotchner.

"Yeah sure, I need a drink right now" Jack agreed, not caring whether his dad found out.

"There's some vodka in the cabinet, is that okay?" the guy asked.

"That's fine, I just need something," Jack told him.

"By the way, you are kind of cute" the guy commented.

"Thanks, you look good too," Jack told him.

"What's your name?" the guy asked.

"I'm Max Warfield, and who are you?" Jack asked.

"I'm Duncan Pierce," the guy said, introducing himself, "how old are you?" he asked.

"I'm fourteen, what about you Duncan?" Jack asked.

"I just turned sixteen" Duncan replied.

"This drink isn't all that bad" Jack commented after taking his first sip.

"Have you ever had anything before?" Duncan asked.

"I've had some of my dad's beer before, I didn't like it though" Jack admitted, "by the way, why haven't I seen you at practices?" Jack asked,

"I just transferred from out of town, so I wasn't on the cross-country team…but I plan on joining next year" Duncan explained.

"Okay cool, do you want to hang out in one of the bedrooms?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, sure dude" Duncan agreed.

With that, the two teen boys walked into an empty bedroom and locked the door behind them.

"Hey, dude do you mind if I show you something?" Duncan asked.

"Go ahead," Jack told him.

"What do you think of this?" Duncan said, rolling up his sleeves to reveal that his arms were covered in scars.

"I have them too" Jack admitted hesitantly.

"But you're wearing short sleeves" Duncan commented.

"Yeah, I have them on my legs" Jack replied.

"Can I see?" Duncan asked.

"Sure, most of the mine is actually burns instead of cuts" Jack warned.

"That's fine" Duncan reassured him.

"What do you think?" Jack asked, pulling up his pants leg.

"They look good, does anyone else know?" Duncan asked.

"No, at least I don't think" Jack informed him.

"Is there anything else you want to do?" Duncan inquired.

"Can we make out?" Jack asked.

'Yeah sure" Duncan agreed, and so they did.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

AN: Dave is over for dinner.

"Hey, I'm here!" Dave exclaimed when he arrived at the Hotchner house.

"Come in, the steak is on the table and the salad is almost ready…feel free to pour yourself a drink" Hotch called.

"Hey dad, is he here yet?" Jack asked as he walked down the stairs with Troy.

"I'm here, and who is your friend?" Dave asked.

"I'm Troy Gunner, we may have met when I was in the hospital recovering from the stabbing" Troy replied.

"Now I remember, how are you doing now?" Dave asked.

"I'm still shaken up by everything, I'm actually staying here until I find somewhere else to live" Troy explained.

"I hope you find a place soon," Dave told him.

"Hello Dave, how have you been?" Aaron asked.

"I'm doing quite well, is there anything you'd like to catch up on?" Dave asked.

"Yeah, but you should catch up with Jack first," Hotch said.

"Sure" Dave agreed, "Hey Jack how is life going?" Dave asked.

"It's alright, I'm getting my grades up in school and the swim team has a big meet in a few days," Jack told him.

"That's good to hear, are there any girls you like at school?" Dave asked.

"Actually, I'm gay" Jack admitted.

"I guess I should ask if there are any boys you like then?" Dave suggested.

"There's maybe one," Jack said, grinning at Troy.

"Well, I hope something good comes of it," Dave told him.

"Dinner is ready! We're sitting at the table tonight" Hotch announced.

"What did you want to catch up with me about?" Dave asked Hotch.

"Jack, you and Troy can go outside and hang out" Hotch instructed.

"Yeah…sure…dad" Jack said in confusion.

"What is it? Why did you just send the boys out?" Dave inquired.

"I sent them out because I didn't want to upset Troy…and I figured Jack probably isn't ready to talk about the situation" Hotch explained.

"What is the situation?" Dave asked.

"It's about what Philippa told me when I visited her a few days ago" Hotch explained.

"What did she tell you?" Dave asked.

"She told me she's pregnant" Hotch admitted.

"Is she having it?" Dave asked.

"Yes," Hotch stated.

"Are you even sure it's yours?" Dave asked.

"That's the one thing I actually still trust her about" Hotch explained.

"Well, if you believe her I can't judge" Dave concluded.

"She wanted to know if I'd take it…said I have until the birth to decide" Hotch admitted.

"What will happen if you say no?" Dave asked.

"She said that her old co-workers, Gus and Harvey, might take the baby…but they'd rather not if I could instead" Hotch explained.

"Do you want the kid?" Dave asked.

"I'm not sure…I already have one motherless kid…" Hotch explained

"Does Jack know yet?" Dave asked.

"I told him as soon as I got home that night" Hotch informed Dave.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

AN: Is it dumb of Hotch to trust her about it being his? Also do you think he should raise the baby, or let Gus and Harvey have her?

"Hello, Gus…this is Aaron Hotchner…you may remember me as Louis Warfield…I'd like to discuss the situation with Lila…Philippa's pregnancy with you and Harvey" Hotch said on the phone.

"Thank you for calling, we'd love to discuss the situation as well…what would be an appropriate time for you?" Gus replied.

"As soon as you can get over here" Hotch decided, hanging up the phone.

"Hey dad, can I ask you something?" Jack asked as he walked into the kitchen where his dad was.

"Yeah sure Jack" Hotch replied.

"Is it okay if Troy and I…you know…do things?" Jack asked.

"If you mean what I think you mean…then I'm not really liking the idea of my teen son doing that sort of thing" Hotch admitted.

"Is that a yes or a no?" Jack asked.

"It's a let me think about it" Hotch decided.

"I understand, dad," Jack told him.

"I feel bad that I can't offer you any…appropriate advice on the topic" Hotch admitted.

"Do you mean like advice for two guys doing it?" Jack asked.

"That's exactly what I mean," Hotch told him.

Less than an hour later, Gus and Harvey had arrived.

'Hello, do you mind sitting at the table?" Hotch asked, greeting them.

"We don't mind at all" Harvey assured him.

"Let's get straight to the point…Harvey and I don't feel comfortable having the child of a violent homophobic criminal living in our home" Gus said, taking his seat at the table.

"Correction, Gus doesn't feel comfortable with having the child of a violent homophobic criminal living in our home. I, on the other hand, recognize that a child is not necessarily going to commit the same atrocities their parent did" Harvey added.

"I've just always believed certain energies are transmitted from parent to child" Gus reasoned.

"I see you guys disagree about the matter at hand" Hotch stated.

"That would be a correct observation" Harvey noted.

"What kind of upbringing would this child have with the two of you?" Hotch asked.

"They'd go to the local public schools, be encouraged to get involved with community activities, and go on our annual summer road trip with us each year" Harvey explained.

"Is there any chance that Gus's concerns might get in the way of giving this child a healthy upbringing?" Hotch inquired.

"I'm sure I would love the kid when I meet them, I just don't know whether this is a clever idea…we've done fine without kids for almost fifteen years…I don't want us rushing into this" Gus explained.

"I thought we decided to help an old friend out" Harvey argued.

"Philippa isn't our friend, not after what she did to all those kids" Gus reminded him.

"But she was our friend before we knew" Harvey reasoned.

"Would you guys have any issue with me taking the baby, and perhaps having you over to visit sometimes?" Hotch asked.

"That seems like the best plan" Gus agreed

"It sure does sound like a deal" Harvey noted.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

AN: What will happen now? Will Jack admit to the self-harm and drinking? Is that stuff still going on or did he quit some time ago? CW: abuse, molestation, alcohol, self-injury

"Hey Jack, we haven't had a real conversation in a while…do you want to talk about anything?" Hotch asked.

"Do you ever wish I could be straight?" Jack asked.

"If I'm being honest, yeah it'd make things easier for me…but that doesn't mean I don't love you the way you are" Aaron explained to his son.

"Do you think I should come out at school?" Jack asked.

"I'm not really sure, if it makes you feel better to be open, then I really can't judge" Hotch concluded.

"That's the thing…I'm not fully open about who I am, at least not with you" Jack admitted.

"We all have certain things that we prefer to keep to ourselves, just be careful and don't hide anything major," Hotch said.

"That's the thing…I am hiding some major things from you, dad… and I have been for a while now" Jack admitted.

"Do you mind telling me some of these things now, Jack?" Aaron asked, beginning to get concerned.

"I've been drunk before…not on a regular basis…but basically every time I've gone to a party with a group of friends or over to a teammates house" Jack confessed.

"Jack, you go to a lot of parties and overnights…this still means you're getting drunk a few times a week some weeks" Hotch explained.

"I know dad, I'm sorry for disappointing you" Jack replied, apologetically.

"I'm just really worried about what I'm hearing" Hotch replied.

"If that's the case, then you won't like the rest of this conversation," Jack told his dad.

"That may be true, but I'm listening anyway" Hotch reassured him.

"Remember that time you took me to the hospital when I took too many of my pain pills?" Jack inquired.

"Yes, of course, I was so worried I might lose you," his dad told him.

, "That was the plan when I took them, I'm sorry" Jack admitted.

"I always thought it was just an accident, why didn't you tell me you were having those feelings?" Hotch asked.

"At the time, I didn't think that you would care about how I felt…I thought you'd be okay, maybe even better off without me" Jack explained.

"Jack, I'd never been better off without you…I don't even know what I'd do if I lost you" Aaron Hotchner admitted.

"Sorry dad" Jack cried.

"Are you okay right now?" his dad asked him.

"Not exactly" Jack admitted, lifting his pants leg to reveal the burns and cuts he had inflicted upon himself.

"Who did this to you?" Hotch asked.

"I did them all to myself" Jack confessed.

"You could've told me how you felt sooner" Hotch replied.

"I wasn't sure if I could…I wasn't sure how to talk to you about what I was feeling" Jack admitted.

"Does anybody else know?" Hotch asked.

"Duncan Pierce from the cross-country team, he showed me his when we hooked up at Mrs. Haven's New Year's party freshman year" Jack admitted.

"Wasn't he a couple years older?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, he's eighteen now…he dropped out of school last year" Jack explained.

"Did he pressure you to do anything/?" his dad asked him.

"No, I was the one who asked him…and just in case you were wondering, we didn't have sex…we just made out" Jack informed his father.

"If you don't mind, I'd like you to get involved in some programs to help you get control over your self-destructive behaviors" Hotch informed his son.

"Yeah sure dad, I'll do anything you need me to do" Jack replied.

"One last thing, I still love you no matter what you do or say" Hotch replied, giving his son a hug.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

AN: Hotch is clearly worried about everything going on with Jack.

"Hey Jack, I know last night's conversation was really intense…are you okay?" Hotch asked when he saw his son sitting on the couch watch The Babadook with Troy.

"I'm fine dad, I just need to know that you're not going to start seeing me differently," Jack told him.

"It's hard hearing about everything you've gone through, and even harder to pretend none of it happened" Hotch commented.

"I understand dad, and I'm not asking you to pretend none of it happened…just don't think that I'm a different person…because I'm still the same son you've always had, you just know me better now" Jack explained.

"I know that" Hotch reassured Jack.

"Hey, Mr. Hotchner….do you mind if I get a glass of apple juice?" Troy asked.

"Go ahead, bring some for me and Jack too if you don't mind" Hotch instructed him.

"Ok, thanks!" Troy exclaimed, getting up to pour some glasses of juice.

"Jack, I know you don't want to talk a lot right now…but I need you to know that you can always tell me anything that' going on with you" Hotch reminded Jack.

"Yeah, sure dad, by the way, did you decide what to do about Philippa?" Jack asked.

"I'm taking the baby, but Gus and Harvey will come over to visit with us more often and they might help out sometimes," Aaron told his teen son.

"Do you know what she's having?" Jack asked.

"She's having a girl" Hotch admitted.

"Cool," Jack said, almost relieved that he wasn't getting a brother.

"I just hope she doesn't suffer too many…consequences of her upbringing" Hotch commented.

"Do you mean that you hope my sister won't end up like me?" Jack asked.

"Of course not, although I wouldn't wish for anyone to go through some of the things you've been through

"What could you possibly mean then?" Jack inquired.

"I mean that I hope she doesn't have too many issues from being raised without a mother" Hotch explained.

"Dad, you've done an excellent job with me. This kid will be lucky to live in your home, with or without another parent involved" Jack reassured his father.

"Thank you, son, I'm glad you feel that way about me" Hotch replied.

"Does Troy know about the baby yet?" Jack asked.

"What baby?" Troy asked, heading back into the living room.

"Troy, my dad needs to tell you something," Jack said.

"What is it?" Troy asked, his face showing confusion.

"Philippa is pregnant, and I'm going to be raising the baby" Hotch explained.

"Are you telling me that you knocked up that bitch who tried to kill me, and I'm supposed to be fine with that?" Troy yelled.

"To be fair Mr. Gunner, this isn't really your choice" Hotch replied.

"Dad, he didn't mean it like that" Jack replied, defending his friend.

"Troy, I understand why you're upset. You're welcome to stay at my house whenever you need, for as long as you need. But my own children will always come before anyone else, and if you can't comply with that you need to find other living arrangements" Hotch told Troy.

"Do you honestly care more about the bastard hellspawn of a serial killer than you do about one of her victims?" Troy raged.

"If you're asking whether I care about my daughter, then yes I do" Hotch answered.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

AN: What do you think will happen with Troy because of what he said?

"Hey man, do you like me?" Troy asked Jack as they sat down on the bed.

"Yeah, I guess I do" Jack admitted.

"That's alright, I just wanted to know," Troy told him.

"Did you ever do anything for real?" Jack asked nervously.

"What do you mean?" Troy asked.

"I mean did you ever do it because you wanted to and not because of Mrs. Havens?" Jack asked.

"I tried to once" Troy confessed.

"Guy or girl?" Jack asked.

"Girl, not anybody you would know" Troy explained.

"Oh okay, I have…only with guys though," Jack told him.

"Was it any good?" Troy questioned.

"Yeah, I guess" Jack replied hesitantly.

"Do you want to try anything right now?" Troy asked.

"Let's just hope my dad doesn't come up here" Jack replied.

After that, the two teens took off their shirts and Jack leaned up against Troy as they started making out. A few minutes later Troy took his pants off and waited for Jack to do the same.

"Hey man, are you sure about this?" Troy asked, pulling away from Jack's face.

"Yeah, we can keep going," Jack told him.

As soon as Jack gave him the okay to go ahead, Troy went back to making out with Jack. This time he moved his mouth further down until he finally got to the place he had been working toward the whole time.

"Troy, keep doing that!" Jack moaned, trying to stay quiet so that his dad wouldn't hear.

"Mm-mmm" Troy grunted, his mouth occupied.

"Do you like this?" Jack asked, fully aware that Troy wouldn't be able to answer.

Troy gave a thumb up to Jack, who in turn gave him a signal to keep going.

It was only a few minutes later that Jack was finally finished, just as his dad walked into his room.

"What's going on here?" Aaron asked, not expecting to see his teenaged son in this position.

"Sorry Mr. Hotchner, we didn't know you would be coming up here…I told Jack that we didn't have to if he didn't want to" Troy stuttered apologetically.

"Troy put your clothes back on and go downstairs…Jack and I will be down in a little bit, but we need to have a discussion first" Hotch instructed, still unsure how to feel about the situation.

"Okay Mr. Hotchner, I'll be waiting on the couch" Troy replied, feeling terrible about Jack's dad catching them together.

"Jack, can we talk about some things?" Hotch asked, sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Can I put something on first?" Jack asked, frustrated as his dad.

"Please do, and then we'll talk" Hotch agreed.

Shortly afterward Jack had put a t-shirt and a pair of jeans on and had sat back down on the bed.

"Have you and Troy done anything like this before?" Hotch asked.

"No dad, we haven't," Jack told him.

"I'm glad to hear that" Aaron replied.

"It was actually his first time" Jack blurted out.

"Are you saying you've already been sexually active before?" Hotch asked Jack.

"I suppose I am" Jack replied.

"Please tell me that you're at least using protection" Hotch replied.

"Sometimes, it depends if it's there" Jack explained.

"Have any of these guys ever pressured you?' his dad asked him.

"Some of the guys were a little creepy, but they were good about backing off when I said" Jack admitted.

"Do you like Troy?" Hotch asked Jack.

"I think I do" Jack reasoned.

"It's okay if you're not sure, and don't forget that I'm here for you with whatever you're going through" Hotch reminded his son.

"I'm sorry dad" Jack replied apologetically.

"About what? You're sixteen. As much as I'd like to think of you as the baby you were when I first met you, I must accept the fact that you're almost an adult. I love you Jack, nothing that's going on could possibly make me reconsider" Aaron told Jack.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

AN: I'm probably towards the end of this story now. We get to find out if J.J and Will's new baby is a boy or a girl. Also, are Jack and Troy going to become official or will they just be friends? Also, this is where we remember that Jack and Hotch are forced to use false names to protect themselves and that Hotch went to be a fancy restaurant manager after leaving the BAU.

Aaron Hotchner had just gotten out of the shower when he noticed a missed call from Jennifer Jareau on his cellphone.

"Hello J.J, is everything alright?" he asked when he called back.

"Yes, Benjamin is due any day now…so I'm off work right now" she told him.

"I hope everything goes well," he told her.

"According to Dave, you have some baby related news of your own" J.J commented.

"That's true, my daughter is supposed to be born in August" he admitted.

"Congratulations, may I ask who the mother is?" J.J asked, confused as to how Hotch was having a kid.

"It's Phillipa" he confessed.

"Your ex-fiancé who turned out to be a serial killer?" she questioned.

"Yes, that one," he told her.

"That must've been a bit of a shock" she commented.

"It was, but I'm fine with this now," he told her.

After getting off the phone with J.J, Hotch decided to give a call-up to the prison where Philippa was being housed.

"Hello, this is Mr. Louis Warfield…I'd like to know when I can come up to visit Philippa Jorgen," he told the person on the other end.

"You can come up tomorrow between three and six PM," she told him.

"Yes of course" Hotch replied, hanging up the phone again.

"Hey, dad, what's going on?" Jack asked from the couch.

"I'm going up to see Philippa tomorrow," he told him, finally getting dressed.

"Okay, you haven't seen her in a while" Jack observed.

"You're right, I've only seen her that one time since the arrest…but I need to meet with her in person to discuss my decision" he explained.

"Good luck" Jack commented.

"Jack, I need you to understand something about this situation," Hotch said.

"What is it?" Jack asked.

"I'm going to need you to help out with your sister when I'm working," Hotch told him.

"Okay, just try not to work when I'm at school" Jack replied.

"I've gotten my schedule changed so that I'll only be at the restaurant at night, from 8 to 1.

"Have you thought about what you would do if she doesn't let you have her?" Jack asked.

"I've tried not to think about that, if she does I plan to fight her" he commented.

The next day Hotch left to head up north, leaving a note for Jack and Troy saying that he'd be back later that night and telling them to stay out of trouble.

"Troy, you know that my dad doesn't have a problem with you" Jack reminded Troy as soon as his dad left.

"I'm not sure, he seemed pretty upset when he caught us" Troy mentioned.

"He wasn't too happy about those things you said earlier, but he just needs to protect his family" Jack explained.

"I know I shouldn't have said that thing, but I didn't know how to react to everything going on" Troy explained.

"He's not going to hurt you, not like your family did" Jack remind Troy.

"I know he won't, but what will happen if I can't handle staying in the house once your sister is here?" Troy asked.

"If that happens, I'll help you find somewhere else to stay" Jack promised.

"Do you feel like messing around a little more?" Troy asked, sitting down on the couch next to Jack.

"Yeah sure," Jack decided.

Soon after, Jack and Troy had both stripped down to just their boxers and were making out intensely on the couch.

"Hey dude, hold up" Jack whispered, pulling himself up.

"Okay man, what's going on?" Troy asked.

"The New Year's party…freshman year" Jack admitted.

"What about it…did something happen?" Troy asked.

"Mrs. Havens was hosting the party and she got me to do some stuff on her couch," Jack told his friend.

"That's where she liked to do stuff to me" Troy admitted, trying not to sound upset.

"I'm sorry dude" Jack replied.

"It's okay, can we get back to business now?" Troy asked.

"Yeah" Jack agreed.

Troy and Jack returned to their make-out session, getting into it even more than they had before. After going at it for what felt like forever Jack pulled off his boxers and allowed Troy to grab him.

"You feel good!" Troy exclaimed, reaching his other hand up to Jack's face.

"I know dude, just keep going…I really need this right now" Jack moaned, enjoying what Troy was doing to him.

"After I finish you, am I getting something in return?" Troy asked.

"Wait and see" Jack replied, barely keeping himself from exploding at that point.

"Dude, I won't be waiting very long" Troy teased.

"Oh god!" Jack screamed as he came.

"Was I any good?" Troy asked nervously.

"The best, we should've started doing this sooner" Jack commented, reaching for Troy's member.

"Go ahead dude" Troy said, noticing what was going on.

"Do you mind if I try something else?' Jack asked.

"Depends" Troy commented.

"Can I use my mouth?" Jack asked.

"If it means you won't keep getting me distracted with conversation, you can use your ear for all I care" Troy joked.

Jack promptly placed Troy in his mouth and went to work on him.

"You're so good!" Troy exclaimed as Jack focused on sucking him off.

Jack kept on going as he felt a few drops in his mouth. Watching as Troy grabbed the arm of the couch behind him.

"Are you ready?" Troy asked, barely able to get the words out.

Jack nodded, enjoying what he was doing to his friend. Troy finally finished, leaking into Jack's mouth.

"You taste good" Jack commented


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

When Aaron Hotchner came home that night his son Jack was sitting on the couch with his friend, Troy eating pizza.

"Hey boys, I'm home" Hotch announced.

"What's up Mr. Hotchner?" Troy asked.

"She didn't try to argue with my decision" Hotch announced, smiling for a moment.

"That's great news dad" Jack commented in between bites of pizza.

"Hey um, Mr. Hotchner…can I talk to you about something?" Troy asked.

"Yes Mr. Gunner, is this a private matter?" Hotch asked, considering the boy's eyes.

"If that's not a problem with you" Troy told him.

"While you live here I have the same policy with you that I do with Jack, you can tell or ask me anything" Hotch informed him.

"Thanks Mr. Hotchner" Troy replied.

Hotch and Troy walked out onto the back porch and sat down on two lawn chairs.

"You can go ahead whenever you're ready" Hotch reminded him.

"First, I'm extremely sorry for what I said about the pregnancy situation" Troy said.

"Apology accepted, I know that you're struggling with what happened to you…I've been through some stuff myself" Hotch admitted.

"Thanks Mr. Hotchner, you're really good to Jack…better than my parents ever were" Troy told him.

"I know what you mean, I saw a lot of parents like yours in my old job" Hotch explained.

"Can I ask you something else, like a kind of awkward guy question?" Troy asked hesitantly.

"What's your question?" Hotch asked him.

"Don't worry it's not a gay question…well I guess it technically is" Troy explained.

"Should I be concerned?" Hotch asked, wondering what was going on.

"I was wondering if it would be okay if Jack and I had sex?" Troy asked awkwardly.

"To be honest I thought you boys already were having sex" Hotch admitted.

"No, at least not unless you count blowjobs and handies" Troy replied.

"You didn't need to describe exactly what you do with my son, Mr. Gunner" Hotch replied.

"Mr. Hotchner, I really do care about Jack…he's the only person I've ever been with who asked me what I wanted first, the only one I've ever really trusted" Troy explained.

"I care about him too and I need to know that you won't do anything to harm him, he's been through a lot in his life" Hotch told him.

"He'll be fine" Troy reassured him, "I know how much he means to you" he added.

"Your feelings about Jack and about who you love in general are totally natural, it doesn't matter what your parents told you…there's nothing wrong with you liking guys" Hotch reminded Troy.

"Thanks Mr. Hotchner, I won't bother you like this anymore" Troy promised.

"I promise you're not bothering me, I'd like to know how everyone in my house is doing" Hotch reassured him.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

AN: Jack has a tough time regarding his abuse. This is about two weeks after the last chapter takes place, so it's mid-March

"Boy, why don't you come over here?" Mrs. Havens asked, gesturing to Jack.

"Yes ma'am" Jack replied hesitantly, making his way toward her.

"It's hot in here, why don't you take something off and cool down?" she suggested, waiting for him to do it.

"Mrs. Havens, can I get something that might help us? I'll be really quick, I promise" Jack asked.

"Yes of course" she replied.

He reached into the middle pocket of his backpack and grabbed a knife, stabbing it into her neck and watch her bleed out.

"Jack! Are you alright?" Hotch asked, having been awoken by his son screaming on the couch.

"She tried to touch me again…and she was about to do it…" Jack cried, barely choking out the words.

"It's okay Jack, it's just a dream" Hotch reassured him.

"But…I killed her" Jack cried.

"Jack, you were having another one of your dreams" his dad reminded him.

"Dad, will the dreams ever stop?" Jack asked, sitting up on the couch.

"I don't know, just keep doing what your therapist says" his dad advised him.

"Thanks dad, I know you wish you could have a normal son" Jack commented.

"Of course, I don't, you're the best son I could ever hope for" his dad reassured him.

"I'm still sorry for ending up like this, and for being a worthless fuckup" Jack told his dad.

"Jack, I need you to listen to me. You don't need to apologize for the things that have happened to you, and you're not a worthless fuckup" Hotch told him.

That afternoon Jack Hotchner had finally gotten up from the couch and was grabbing some leftover chicken for lunch.

"Hey dude, do you want to go somewhere later today?" Troy asked, joining him in the kitchen.

"No Troy, I just got up and I need to stay inside" Jack replied angrily.

"Chill dude, I was just asking" Troy replied, concerned about his friend.

"I know, I just need some space" Jack told him.

"Let me know when you're done with this" Troy said, going back up to Jack's room where he had been sleeping for the past two weeks.

"Jack, is everything okay with you and Troy?" Hotch asked, walking into the kitchen soon after Troy left.

"No dad, it's not" Jack replied.

"Do you feel like talking to me about it?" Hotch asked, sitting down across from his son.

"I don't really know where to start" Jack admitted.

"Anywhere is fine with me" Hotch reminded him.

"He doesn't have the dreams…even though she did it to him too" Jack mentioned.

"Different people react to trauma differently, you know that" Hotch replied.

"I know but I thought maybe I wasn't going through this on my own" Jack admitted.

"You're not going through anything on your own, I'm always here for you and he would be too if you would let him know about it" Hotch told his son.

"He doesn't care, he just wants me to be normal again" Jack replied.

"I know it's rough right now but he's the only other person who went through what you went through, try not to let him go over something that'll be over soon" Hotch advised his son.

"I'll try, but he probably won't want anything to do with me" Jack replied.

"If that happens I'm here, but I think you'll be fine" Hotch reassured him.


End file.
